Plenty more fish in the Tinder

What you are about to witness is a rant about dating, from somebody who is pretty new to the game, and already pretty bitter and twisted about it.

First of all, dating is everything rubbish about conversation.  You're forced to sit across from somebody in a desperate sort of interview situation, trying to sell a version of yourselves you think the self assured creature sat opposite you will find sexually appealing, or at least want to spend time with.
You know nothing about this person. If it isn't somebody you're already familiar with, the night must begin with a lubrication of the social skills through alcohol, until you both feel none-awkward enough to discuss some actual interests you have put the feelers out on, that they might share.  Quick Game of Thrones reference. Confession to a Battle.Net account. Commonly, they don't, and they're judging you. Or you're judging them. The first drink, it's always, all about the judgement.
They can sense your nerves, They can tell that you're not being yourself, you grasp at conversation with sweaty palms that just slip away at the threads of something that they might have deemed interesting, but you never paid enough attention to know the details, or understand the underlying jokes. They're learning that you're easily bored, lack commitment and aren't really as interesting as your friends, or Tinder, or whatever app or channel might have suggested.  

You make your excuses about needing an early night, even though your stories and attitude scream out 'irresponsible school night drinker', the lie fixes and you head home, five drinks later. Somewhere in the darkness of an almost drunken haze, they'll always make a lunge for your face, or offer for you to come back to theirs - That's a joke right? The awkward dodge into a hug, and the polite decline have become an artform in a world full of beautiful, disinteresting creatures.

Men fear the friendzone - Trust me. It's the least dangerous place to be. Friends, are awesome, and enjoyable people that girls love spending time with. Dates, are boring, and eventually you realise that nobody is really as unique as they think they are, and they all have the same goals, dreams and 'interests'. You don't travel - You've been on holidays. Yes, you cook, so do I, we all have to cook or we'll starve to death.

Stop trying to impress each other world. Let's be honest and tell each other how truly dull and human we all are, and stop trying to sell each other sexual caricatures of our actual selves.